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Joke of the Day

"Capitalization is important There's a big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"What do you call a lesbian driving a Ford Windstar full of penises? A dick-van dyke. -Credit to Louis CK"

"How Do You Create Artificial Intelligence? Dye a blonde's hair."

"Growing old is a lot like grammar The past is perfect and the present, tense"

"Did you hear about the criminal who wanted to lose weight to fit into smaller clothes? Last I heard, he was still at large."

"What's Sam Smith's favorite type of nut? [It's an alllllllllmond](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB63ztKnGvo&feature=youtu.be&t=37s)"

"Why'd the Mexican cross the road? He took the chicken's job."

"As an adult, I have to do some lame things like pay bills & have responsibilities. But I can also eat ice cream for dinner."

"Substitute teaching 1st graders was not at all the Dead Poets Society experience I was hoping it would be."

"How do you make 7 even? By removing the S"