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Joke of the Day
"Why does Bear Grylls love Bud Light? It's sterile and he likes the taste."
Next Joke
"What is WRONG with you??? Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything"
"I started a band called 1023 Megabytes We're pretty good but we haven't gotten a gig yet"
"Hillary Clinton You're* Fired!"
"Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words."
"I once unknowingly dated a transvestite ignoring all the clues Such as her name being Amanda."
"Just got my free yearly car wash Thanks California!"
"U know your mind is gone when u get out of bath and realize u only shaved one leg Unless u only have one leg... Then you're good"
"Hitler has heard that the Americans have liberated Normandy Hitler: It's over Eva. Everything's a disaster. We might as well call this Disaster Day. Eva: Why not just call it D-Day?"
"Had some mushrooms this morning. Breakfast of Champignons."