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Joke of the Day

"Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words."

"Here's a joke for all you Game of Thrones fans. One day Bran walks into a bar."

"My wife has developed a fetish with salad items... Earlier today she spent an hour trying to force a lettuce into my ass. And that was just the tip of the iceburg"

"[2 dogs eating dinner] ""u know Sharon, that life insurance policy u found me is great"" [stops chewing] ""why does this taste like chocolate"""

"What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!"

"What do a burnt pizza and a baby have in common? Some idiot pulled it out to late"

"my wife's friend is so pissed i made fun of his lazy eye he's having a hard time even looking at me"

"I have three daughters. They are Three, Ten and Eleven. I know, I know! These are strange names."

"In the days before the Internet... did black people watch Cops to see what their family and friends were up to?"

"Just tell me those 3 words I am dying to hear: ""The meeting's cancelled."""