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Joke of the Day

"I started a band called 1023 Megabytes We're pretty good but we haven't gotten a gig yet"

"A word in this sentence is misspelled. Misspelled."

"A guy walks into a bar and asks the guy across from him why his hands were all over his face: The guy across replies: ""Because I am a clock you drunk fuck."""

"Glad I read the label on that Clorox. I was about to rub it in my eyes and keep it in the reach of so many children."

"My pants are also my iPhone grease wipes."

"3. That's how many times you have to ask someone if they're grumpy before they get grumpy."

"Why can't the Chinese be Nazis? Two Wongs don't make a Reich"

"What does a ticket to the 50 Cent concert featuring Nickleback cost? $300 if you ask Ticketmaster"

"In the beginning there was nothing... Then God said ""Let there be light!"" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Edit: Credit to Ellen DeGeneris."

"Just learned that New York's state bird is a guy apologizing for being late because of the trains while holding a brand new coffee."