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Joke of the Day

"Where does honey come from? Beez nuts!"

"A zombie opened his frig for a snack. He looked at a human brain, but threw it away... ... it was expired."

"What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAIIINSSS!"

"I like my underwear the way i like my Ronda Rousey fights Boxer brief"

"Pull all of your money out of Pepto-Bismol stocks immediately. There's some real liquidity problems over there."

"An only child invented the boomerang."

"Every commercial for every product should have a scientist looking into a microscope. That gives me the confidence to buy"

"I want to get arrested by a motorcycle cop just so I can hold him tenderly around the waist on my way to jail."

"They named a paint color after my ex... It's called *Whore Red*. It's not very bright, but its cheap and spreads easily."

"The lottery gives you about a 1 in 200 million chance you won't be going to work tomorrow. Alcohol will give you a 1 in 5. #PowerballFever"