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Joke of the Day

"It's perfectly fine to offer raisins to a guest (if nuclear winter is upon us & you're living in an underground bunker)"

"What order did Emperor Palpatine give to start the orgy? Execute order sexy sex."

"It's amazing that even 20 years later, pretending to shoot heroin with an mechanical pencil can still be a great way to procrastinate."

"How many Buddhists does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They believe that the enlightenment comes from within."

"A man has an option to turn into any object in the universe, he chose a butter knife. He wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer..."

"What do you call a Rwandan tribe falling down a hill? Tutsi Roll"

"That awkward moment when you see someone that you've been texting all day and you have nothing to say because you already know everything."

"Meant to type ""Lmaoooo"" but left off the ""L"" and now she thinks I'm singing the praises of The People's Republic."

"I like my dates like I like my women... ...across the street and unaware that I'm watching!"

"Why are batman and black man different? Bat man can go a whole night without robin"