74861

Joke of the Day

"Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. The worst that can happen is embarrassment, social shame and everyone thinking you're an idiot"

"Why did god give women legs? Have you ever seen the trail a snail leaves?"

"The fifth season will start in a few days Nuclear Winter"

"Confess to murdering a relative while you're contestants on Family Feud. That way your family will be forced to applaud & say ""Good answer!"""

"Clearly the people that design refrigerators don't know me if they think 1 tiny cheese drawer & 2 giant vegetable drawers is the way to go."

"*Panda walks into shop, ""A packet of nuts please."" Assistant: ""pandas don't eat nuts."" -""dammit"" panda suit opens and 36 squirrels run off."

"I heard they are remaking Luke's starfighter group with 25% black pilots... They're calling it Rogue Quadroon."

"Thats the thing about incontinence pants.. .. you're in control."

"What's green and eats nuts? Syphillis"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."