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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you be friends with a tampon? Because they are stuck up cunts."

"A nun who was known to smoke a pack a day just recently quit her habit. Now she just smokes naked."

"What do you call a really bad sausage? The Wurst."

"Did you hear about that new film on the B-17 aircraft? It bombed"

"A door walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Why the long face?"" The door responds, ""I'm off my hinges."""

"Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years? It was stuffed."

"Whenever my mate Dave starts stuttering, I always try and lighten the mood. By pretending to scratch invisible turntables."

"What happened at the Mr. Softee when someone spiked the syrups with Viagra? The whole place turned into a Hardee's."

"Why isn't John Oliver having sultanas in his fruitcake? Because it's the currant year."

"English If you ever have trouble remembering the difference between ""lead"" and ""lead"", just remember that ""lead"" sounds like ""read"" and ""lead"" sounds like ""read""."