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Joke of the Day

"""Honey, it's time we talk to him about the roaches & the fleas"" ""You mean the birds & the bees?"" ""DEAR GOD WOMAN HAVE YOU SEEN HIS ROOM!"""

"Why did the guy take his time setting up a premature ejaculation support group? He didn't want to go off half cocked."

"Updates status.. no one comments. Updates status again."

"Why are the buses in London red? You'd be too if you came every 10 minutes."

"My wife just found out I replaced the bed with a trampoline She hit the fucking roof"

"Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?"

"It's an ATM. Not an ATM machine. The M in ATM already covered that, stupid."

"Forget ""once you go black you never go back"" I say ""For that special occasion go caucasian"""

"A wizard is driving down a road and he turns in to a driveway."

"You know, I heard listening to Queen has been scientifically proven to give people autism. Apparently because of the unusually high Mercury content."