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Joke of the Day

"It's an ATM. Not an ATM machine. The M in ATM already covered that, stupid."

"The New Men's Birth Control Pill It's about the size of a marble. You put it into your shoe. It makes you limp."

"What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper."

"*4YO and I slo-mo run towards each other* 4: I didn't pee the bed daddy! Me: Me neither! *big hug* It was a big night for both of us."

"A new joke about Kim Jong Un (removed)"

"What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common? They both like to pork."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it pees? Because the p is silent."

"I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken, and hooked up with a girl dressed as an egg. Things happened but in the end, we answered a life-long question... The chicken came first."

"It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed."

"Do you know what the hardest part of rollerblading is? Telling your father you are gay."