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Joke of the Day
"It's an ATM. Not an ATM machine. The M in ATM already covered that, stupid."
Next Joke
"Who lives in a hut with a couple pieces of trash and two grains of rice? An Ethiopian person who has been hoarding for several years now."
"I Have a Wind Powered Car I have to blow into an ignition interlock device to start my car."
"What happens when you retweet a compliment about how humble you are?"
"They always tell me, ""Measure twice. Cut once""... ...but they never say which of the two measurements I should use to cut by."
"A guy goes to the store to buy condoms, ""Do you want a bag?"" the cashier asks, ""No"" the guy says, ""she's not that ugly"""
"My girlfriend knows I love pinball, so she uses just 3 words to let me know when it's sexy time. ""Lock is lit"""
"And then God said: Let women have infallible memory. But technology said: And screenshots, just in casies."
"How do you put spaghetti to sleep? You cover it in peanut butter until it dies. My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this."
"What breaks when u give it to a toddler? Her hips"