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Joke of the Day

"I told my psychiatrist that I believe I have the power to detect Indian bread for miles around. He said that's naan-sense."

"What has three feet but no legs? A yardstick."

"Some people say they get runner's high... I just get runner's OH GOD MY CHEST IS COLLAPSING I FEEL LIKE DEATH"

"What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration"

"Kanye West must feel very conflicted right now. He's excited Kim is pregnant, but deep down he knows Beyonce had the best baby of all time."

"Even the most racially sensitive person you know gets a little skeptical when the chef at a Chinese restaurant isn't Asian"

"I like my women like I like my coffee:... ...imported from Columbia in a bag."

"How do you call a game console named after an MMA fighter? Nate DS"

"How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Slap a nipple on it."

"Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They keep stealing the green cards."