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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my coffee:... ...imported from Columbia in a bag."

"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said, ""I wanna watch."""

"He said he was a Guardian of the galaxy, I thought that was pretty cool until I realised he was a security guard in a Samsung shop."

"What's the difference between your mother and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when I slap it"

"I'm on a seafood diet... I see food, and I eat it."

"Why did the bass player miss his second lesson? He had a gig that night."

"[OC]What do you call a shrunken walrus? A smallrus."

"yea whataver ... i have a gf shes uhhh *looks around* imported. i mean foreign. yea shes a Modelo too. no i said model. a very especial girl"

"Some people should be recalled."

"""HONEY, MY TOOTHBRUSH IS MOVING!"" ""Has it got ears?"" ""YEAH."" ""Tail?"" ""YEAH."" ""Is it the dog?"" ""I THINK I KNOW THE DIFF--AH IT BIT ME AGAIN!"""