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Joke of the Day

"In his quest to become a brain surgeon, Charlie the otter couldn't afford to live at the University of aquatic mammals. He was forced to take online courses from the Hippo-Campus."

"'50 Shades of Grey' taught me how to please a woman. It's by writing a shitty book."

"If you're ever lost in the woods, try to find a bear to kill. Their claws will provide four sweet breakfast pastries."

"It's actually pretty easy to win an argument with a woman when you wait until she's not around to have it."

"That deli has a reputation for sub-par hoagies, ...but the one I had was exactly average."

"Figured out how to make my dick 1mm Fold it in half"

"My brother thought it'd be hilarious to replace all my Adderall with Viagra... which explains how I've been studying so hard."

"So a. Mormon and a Catholic walk into a bar... And there goes your middle class."

"One Mississippi... two Mississippi... just kidding! One Mississippi is quite enough."

"Why shouldn't you have sex with Linux users? Open sores."