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Joke of the Day

"You say you want to bring me back to reality. You're assuming I've been there before."

"The researchers didn't want to give their years of AI research to a younger team. But eventually, they decided to pass the torch"

"Why should you never trust a noodle? Because they're in-pastas."

"This bloke in the pub last night was boasting that when he orgasms, he ejaculates up to a pint of semen at a time.I found that a bit hard to swallow"

"The propellor of a plane is actually a giant fan for the pilot When the fan stops, you can actually see the pilot start sweating"

"My legs are so white that they stopped listening to their Bon Iver LP to correct my pronunciation of 'quinoa'"

"Show me on this calendar where the bad Monday touched you."

"Used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!"

"A cicada crawled up my butt while I was sleeping last night. I'm not worried though. It'll come out in 13 years."

"I just finished reading the fifth book in this great series. It's called the ""Learning to Count"" trilogy."