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Joke of the Day

"The guys that taught me every medicine joke I know just arrived at my doorstep. I decided to in-vitamin."

"accidentally added a ""z"" to the end of the word ""think"" in a text and suddenly my jeans are sagging below my ass and i have 3 chains on"

"""Snap! The Rice Krispie cereal mascot just isn't my type... ...his idea of a date is to just 'Crackle and Pop'"""

"Did you hear about the spilt milk? It was an udder disaster...."

"isis was planning to use biological warfare against David Cameron... but they got anthrax mixed up with tampax and poisoned the wrong cunt"

"What'd the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing they just waved.... I'll show my self out"

"My tweets don't get the attention they used to. I've seen more stars after getting my head slammed into the headboard."

"At first I was angry... ...when all my friends began collecting stamps after I started. But then I remembered: imitation is the sincerest form of philately."

"What's a scientist's favorite gum flavor? .......Ex-*spearmint*."

"What's worse than a centipede with sore feet? A giraffe with a sore throat"