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Joke of the Day

"Wife: I lost my day planner. Me: Not in your briefcase? W: No. I looked EVERYWHERE. M: Well it looks like you've got a hidden agenda W:"

"What is the fastest way to lose pounds? Leave EU."

"Then there was the noodle who wanted all his life to be an M... but when he finally got his wish, no one believed him cause he was an M pasta..."

"Beef jerky is already so salty... I don't understand why they give you a salt packet in the bag."

"Your beauty cannot be contained by the set of all real numbers. That's because it's imaginary."

"I'm like a midget with premature ejaculation I have a lot of shortcomings"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile."

"How can you tell a black lady is pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out and the cotton is already picked."

"Why did the suicidal man cross the road? Because he wanted to play chicken."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster. But it was shot before it could start running."