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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile."

"Doctor: ""Hey, how are you?"" Patient: ""I am good"" Doctor: ""Ok. Next."""

"Just heard a dad threaten to spank his screaming son ""in front of the world."" Stand your ground, kid. There's no way he has that technology."

"*makes Transformer sound effects while I put my makeup on*"

"*gets email* -Do you want to chat with hot nineteen-year olds in your area?- *responds* ""Can any of them help me with this iTunes update?"""

"My night was going great until a neighbor flew their drone over my property. So I grabbed my shotgun and yelled, ""Pull!"""

"Two gallons of milk sat within a fridge One was spoiled and the other was chocolate. Where did the spoiled milk sit? On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit? In the back."

"What do you call a cheap hooker? A bang for your buck."

"Exactly 4 years ago, I asked my college crush out. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"Why do orphans go to church? It's the only place they can call someone ""father""."