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Joke of the Day

"Superman could have become a doctor, using his x-ray vision to detect life threatening tumors. But no, we really needed another journalist."

"I heard it's a good night to see the Perseid meteor shower . . . . . . but I haven't heard how it got dirty."

"A psychology study suggests that when you are single, all you see are happy couples, When you are committed, you see happy singles."

"The teacher asked Johnny, ""Why is your cat at school today Johnny?"" Johnny replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Johnny leaves for school today!'"""

"Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car? Because he was a car-case."

"If you want to be remembered when you die... Borrow money from everyone you know"

"My friend told me if im upset about something i should sleep on it... I told him to give it a rest."

"What is the best part about showering with a 14 year old girl? If you slick her hair back just right, she looks nine!"

"My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate."

"If someone hits you with a coffee mug, have you technically been mugged?"