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Joke of the Day

"I love getting kisses from my dogs but, I'm starting to worry about the one who keeps trying to give me the slow tongue."

"2 friends and I once pulled the 3 kids in a trenchcoat trick & killed a man got tried as an adult but when they hung mike, paul & I fell out"

"So it turns out that fat bearded man whose lap I was sitting on at the mall wasn't Santa. LOL drugs."

"Why did the chicken attend the seance? To get to the other side."

"What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowtin"

"Why do girls always walk in groups of odd numbers? Because they can't even..."

"ME: This electric toothbrush knocked a few of my teeth loose. DENTIST: That's an egg beater."

"What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables? Lettuce pray they turnip."

"What do you call a virus that affects the command line? Terminal Illness"

"I have controversial opinions and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks! (Refreshes eight times to see faves and retweets)"