74579
Joke of the Day
"When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging."
Next Joke
"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of boats? Because if they fell foward, they would still be on the boat."
"A snake walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""How did you do that?"""
"I went to the Gym and the power went out. I whispered, ""thank you baby jesus"" and left."
"Did you hear about the tornado that swept through the cemetery? Hundreds dead."
"I just passed a beer truck on the highway. ""Wait a minute. I'm named after beer?!!?"" -My 6 yr old son, Miller"
"What does a West Virginia woman say after sex? Git off me Pa, you're squishing my smokes."
"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. I always use this joke when going to Dr's, or any medical situation. It never fails to get a great laugh."
"How do you get an 80 year-old woman to swear? How do you get an 80 year-old woman to yell ""F*ck""? You get another 80 year-old woman next to her to yell ""BINGO"""
"Me as the astronaut in that Martian movie: ""Day 1 I have enough food to last 459 days"" ""Day 2 I now have enough food to last 170 days"""