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Joke of the Day

"Found out the name of my neighbor's cat. In other news, I now have free internet."

"I feel like I'm not giving my followers enough in my tweets. Would you be interested in stock tips or free shampoo samples?"

"How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood.."

"I am fairly certain that ""YOLO"" is ""Carpe Diem"" for stupid people."

"By tomorrow, no one will remember what happened in trees today"

"What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shellfies!"

"I know I'm getting old when I see a beautiful 19 year old girl and I wonder what her mother looks like."

"I'm only good at math when I'm adding insult to injury."

"What is the difference between a camera and a sock? One holds photos The other holds five"