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Joke of the Day

"What do the American dollar and the American dress size have in common? Both have had to adjust for inflation."

"Want a pudding pop? I don't give a fuck if you want it or not. Stop crying. You're gonna take this motherfucking pudding pop."

"How many dogs does it take to change a tampon? 26"

"How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins."

"I had a break up with my clone the other day... I was being sincere by saying, Its not you, its me."

"A guy won the lottery and bought a lot of weed, His name was Jack. He became known as Jack-pot."

"The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was making religion cool."

"I'm starting a support group for people who think they are mortgages. The most important thing is for them to realize that they are not a loan."

"The Three Words You Dread What are the three words you dread the most while making love? ""Honey, I'm home."""

"Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist"