47066
Joke of the Day
"The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was making religion cool."
Next Joke
"What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records."
"What do you call a guy who's rolling around in the grass early in the morning? Dewy"
"Turtle + Porcupine = Slowpoke"
"What goes eek eek bang? A mouse in a minefield !"
"A guy named Lur tells his friend about a business idea... ""I have a brilliant idea! I am going to make and sell my own line of cars!"" To which his friend replied ""Christ, Lur!"""
"[Wakes up in hospital after car crash] I'm afraid we had to amputate both of your feet. ""OMG why?"" You were too tall to fit in the ambulance"
"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his collection of Pixar films except one. He's never going to give you Up."
"Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?"
"Me: Do you ever feel like you're an imposter? Psychiatrist: Get out of my chair Me: Interesting *writes 'thinks he's the psychiatrist'*"