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Joke of the Day

"Apparently Cadbury's are making an oriental chocolate bar I reckon it's just a Chinese whisper"

"How do you call a hearing-impaired duck? **HEY DUCK!!!!!**"

"What do they call divorce in India? Re-arranged marriage"

"Who won the Tour de France in 1940? the Sixth German Panzer Division"

"I bought some pot from a T-Rex ... ... he was a small arms dealer."

"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calender? They each got 6 months"

"FUN FACT: Scientists have proven, there IS in fact life outside the United States."

"Playing that 'Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?' song on your iPhone, full blast while entering a public toilet stall, feels pretty good."

"""Ok last interview question. Biggest weakness?"" ""People say I'm too hospitable."" ""I see. So should I stop sitting on your lap?"" ""Your call."""

"Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up."