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Joke of the Day

"I always put pennies in that thing at the convenience store so I can put ""benefactor"" on my resume."

"Have you ever had African food? Neither they have."

"*interrupts eulogy* SOMEONE SAID THAT ALMOST WORD FOR WORD AT THE LAST FUNERAL"

"the ""i'm revealing my deepest insecurities to you with hope that you don't use them to utterly destroy me"" is silent in ""i love you"""

"I usually don't pay for sex... ...but sometimes I like to splurge."

"Harry Potter joke Q. Why can't Snape teach Herbology? A. He can't keep the lilies alive."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil"

"Who Is every lumberjack's favourite director? TIMBURRRTON!"

"Why do they use liquid soap in the Navy? Takes longer to pick up."

"Seriously how much of Krypton fell to earth and how do bad guys keep finding it? You're Superman, handle your shit. This ain't a game, dawg."