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Joke of the Day

"the ""i'm revealing my deepest insecurities to you with hope that you don't use them to utterly destroy me"" is silent in ""i love you"""

"2 wrongs don't make a right But 3 rights make a left"

"A little boy asks his Dad a question A little boy says, Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' Son,' says the dad. That happens everywhere.'"

"I'm taking my kid to an aquarium today. (I'm putting my kid in the closet with Sponge Bob videos)"

"What cheese is made backwards? Edam."

"A nurse takes a rectal thermometer from her jacket pocket ""Great. Some arsehole's got my pen"""

"Two guys walk into a bar... ...tender. Wait, what the hell?!"

"I hear the Star Wars universe is so advanced, you can get Chinese food directly over the internet... They use an e-wok."

"What's the downside to bigamy? More than one mother-in-law."

"woke this morning with a thin white thread hanging from my mouth Hoped for a teabag"