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Joke of the Day

"- How many Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? - That is a military secret. If I told you I'd have to kill you."

"I should never read tweets at work because I laugh out loud and everyone asks what's funny and I have to say this excel spreadsheet."

"Birthdays can be really nice But I heard too many of them can kill you"

"Reading's great. You stare at stained slices of tree for hours on end, hallucinating vividly as time passes you by."

"What do you call a gay rock. A fruity pebble."

"donald trump's immigration policy If he doesn't use #Mexit when describing his immigration policy it will be a missed opportunity."

"How do color blind people see porn? In fifty shades of gray"

"What's the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law."

"RABBIT HUSBAND: You look even better after a full day of work. I don't know how you do it, honey. RABBIT WIFE: They test cosmetics on me."

"I'm a leader, not a follower... Unless it's into a dark place, then screw that, you're going first."