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Joke of the Day

"Man is like spider... ..bound to have sticky fingers after being on the web"

"There are two types of people in this world Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"what is michael J. Fox's favourite beverage? a vanilla shake"

"1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone ""It's done. He's dead."" 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can"

"Sorry I got confused & grabbed your fist bump like a doorknob."

"A baby was born laughing really hard with it's fists closed! The confused Doctor unfolded it's tiny fingers, & found a birth control pill."

"How can a cat walk with no feet? He can't, it's impawsible."

"INTERVIEWER: What did you like most about your last job? ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it."

"My Iguana has been having trouble getting enough blood into his weenus; he has areptile dysfunction."

"*pulls away from kissing -What does CVS stand for?"