46066

Joke of the Day

"1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone ""It's done. He's dead."" 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can"

"So, if he gets divorced for the third time... Does Melania get to keep the White House?"

"Whats the difference between a hippy chick and a washing machine? When you drop a load in, it doesn't follow you around for 6 months trying to get spun. 8)"

"A classics professor goes to a tailor... ... to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""

"What do you call four drowning Mexicans? Cuatro Sink-O"

"After spending over 3 decades in the hard candy business, I've had enough... I've finally realized it's for suckers."

"Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn has gotten off pretty lucky... The last German who tried to gas that many people had to commit suicide!"

"Excuse me waiter, this coffee tastes like mud Yes sir, it's fresh ground!"

"My friend just joined a reggae band playing the triangle, he says it's easy... All he has to do is stand at the back 'n' ting."

"I think it's fun that witches chose brooms to fly on, but if I were them, I'd fly on a rifle. This way when you land you have a rifle."