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Joke of the Day

"*pulls away from kissing -What does CVS stand for?"

"Guess what Spain is Chicken anus"

"Daddy daddy, why do I keep walking in circles? Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."

"Whoever you are, you can't deny that Harry Potter & the Fallopian Tubes sounds like a legitimate title. Don't act like you wouldn't read it."

"I heard they're making a revival of a show once Donald Trump is elected I'm going to love watching the new Orange is the New Black."

"I don't have a problem with idiots... I have a problem with the fact they they have an internet connection."

"What is the Earth's most juvenile lake? Lake Titicaca of course!"

"I want to listen to the audiobook of The Qur'an. Can someone please burn me a copy? Seriously, folks..."

"Why is YOLO popular all of a sudden? Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we lived twice?"

"Me on New Year's Day: 2016 is so going to be my year! (Morgan Freeman narration): 2016 would not, in fact, be anyone's year."