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Joke of the Day

"""Umm, what are you doing? Can you not? Seriously, get off me!"" - The first horse ever ridden (probably)"

"I never eat coins in front of vending machines because I don't want them to fall in love with me."

"What's a cats favorite thing to read? A CATalog"

"How does a blond like her eggs in the morning? ""fertilized"""

"When is the only time a woman says something smart? When her sentence starts with ""A wise man once said"""

"Did you hear the one about the guy with five dicks? His pants fit like a glove!!"

"My friend hates theme parks because he doesn't like the idea of waiting for 5 hours for 2 minutes of pleasure. And yet he still goes on dates."

"Royal flushes aren't very common. The Queen's homes must stink."

"What did the left tower say to the right tower? I gotta catch a plane"

"Confucius say when mosquito land on testicle, you learn to solve problem without violence"