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Joke of the Day

"What did the left tower say to the right tower? I gotta catch a plane"

"Damn, girl, did you lose weight? Because it's caught up to you."

"What's the most fucked up thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet!"

"Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket."

"Saying that you were touched by Jesus... ...is a completely different story in a Mexican prison."

"Do NOT lower your standards to ""keep"" anyone. Make them meet you at YOUR level. Self respect is power."

"Do you think clouds look down on us and think, that ones shaped like an idiot."

"A Spartan boy was ripped from his mother at seven and subjected to daily beatings My mother calls at 40+ to make sure that I'm still eating"

"This Christmas... This Christmas, Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada. Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War. Bernie Sanders stars... in HELL TOUPEE"

"""Daddy, what happens when we die?"" ""You get married and have kids"""