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Joke of the Day

"This one time, a guy duped me... ... but the joke was on him because then he had to deal with two of me."

"Who does a hypocrite really hate? A hypocrite!"

"When a Dutch reporter asked Arjen Robben what he was going to do after the world cup, he told him; I'm going diving in Mexico."

"Did you hear about the mathematician ghost? ""No"" Well, Its the spirit that counts."

"Whats worse than five dead babies in a trash can? One dead baby in five trash cans"

"The melons Why did the melons get married in a church? Because they cant-elope."

"[interviewing for job as assassin] Me: I only have 1 rule Interviewer: lemme guess. No women or kids Me: huh? No, I just won't work weekends"

"Sometimes i feel like the flat bread option at subway because I'm always available but no one ever wants me to hang out with"

"What does Joan Jett use when her lips are chapped? Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry balm!"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean. :D edit: funnier when said aloud"