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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: Why should we hire you? Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison."

"My brother's got a degree in wheel-making. Only 359 more to go."

"What's yellow and flys through walls? A magic banana..."

"I vandalized an art major's car today. Removing pizza delivery signs is surprisingly easy."

"Mechanic: you need a new carburetor Me: you can call it a buretor, I know lots about cars, I'm like you"

"What's the Italian version of Preparation-H? Innuend-O"

"Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered."

"My dad told me this one: What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and 50 nuns? 100 people who don't do dick."

"So Saudi Arabia Was Elected Head Of The Human Rights Panel..."

"I will say something deep. I built a robot that digs. Deep."