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Joke of the Day

"My dad told me this one: What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and 50 nuns? 100 people who don't do dick."

"Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn? Because he's *alright alright alright*."

"What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels? A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat."

"How do you tell if someone is being a karma whore? EDIT: Wow I didn't expect this to become so popular!"

"A Cuban, a Canadian, and a White Supremacist walks into a bar... The bartender asks ""What'll you have Senator Cruz?"""

"I volunteer a lot at a children's hospice... It never gets old."

"Why are lesbians always low on cash? Because they're constantly eating out!"

"On the tombstones of Buddhists, it's always 'RIP'. I always thought it was 'BRB'"

"Why would Ellen Pao not do her own AMA? General Pao's chicken."

"What did one British tampon say to the other British tampon? We're bloody-well stuffed."