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Joke of the Day

"How are Cigarettes like Hamsters? They're harmless until you put one in your mouth and light in on fire"

"When I see an ugly guy buying condoms, I restore my faith in myself by thinking that he bought them only because balloons weren't available"

"Why don't undertakers provide free services? That would be a dead giveaway."

"Why was the ant so confused? All of if its uncles are aunts!"

"What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital? The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home."

"Purple is my favorite color! I like it more than blue and red combined."

"I've got two tickets to paradise and a they're both obstructed view."

"I threw up my hands in disgust last night. Knew I shouldn't have eaten them."

"Million dollar idea: make $100,000 ten times"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind a 5k, but my running group wants to a 10k. I don't like them."