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Joke of the Day

"I told Siri that no one understands me. She said: ""I don't know what you mean by *no one understands me*"""

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"Do Not Be Racist ..... Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew"
"Funny how the closer I get to the bar the friendlier I become."
"My dick is so average... It's struggling with student loan debt but doesn't even use it's degree... Or Can handle about 5-6 beers before it's totally useless Or Its like the Toyota corolla of dicks"
"Way less people would sneeze in public if we replaced ""bless you"" with ""nice filthcloud."""
"Life is like a bunch of chocolates It doesn't last long when you're fat."
"Whats Dj Khaleds Favourite Jetski Brand? Kawasakey"
"What does it say on Billy Mays' s tomb stone? BILLY MAYS HERE!"
"I read an article about the dangers of drinking and it scared the crap out of me... ...so I decided to swear off reading."
"What did the underscore say when he got up to leave? Gotta Dash!"
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