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Joke of the Day

"My dick is so average... It's struggling with student loan debt but doesn't even use it's degree... Or Can handle about 5-6 beers before it's totally useless Or Its like the Toyota corolla of dicks"

"[Hoth Rebel Base] Leia: How's Skywalker? Han: He was nearly frozen when I found him. Leia: And, now? Han: Lukewarm. Leia: ... Han: Hehehe"

"For some reason, I'm not in The Guinness Book of Records. Even though I was *definitely* the first person ever to touch my penis."

"What's brown and sticky? Seriously. Guess."

"Billy Mays so good He once sold pain to Chuck Norris."

"How is a Silver Medal and a Priest the same? They both came in a little behind."

"How can you tell it's a porno actor filling up his car at the next pump? Just before he gets to twenty bucks he pulls out the nozzle and shoots it all over the trunk."

"I had Taylor Swift in my head all day... ...I just shouldn't shake her off, shake her off..."

"I heard apple was going straight to the iPhone 7 I guess it won't be very 6s-ful"

"A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization. Ghandi replied ''I think it would be a good idea.''"