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Joke of the Day

"Baby oil If olive oil is made from olives, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?"

"Use fire extinguisher in case a Politician catches fire Use it to batter him to death."

"Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)"

"What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles."

"Which is the worst hand to lose? The second one."

"I am 48 and my wife is 8 months pregnant. am i too old to be a dad?"

"No one seems to care how NYC's smallest residents are handling this heatwave, which is why I'm asking you to join my Shave The Rats campaign"

"How much do I trust reddit? I went on /r/starwars before seeing the new Star Wars."

"How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees."

"Helped a turtle cross the road today. So how does this karma shit work? Should I buy a lottery ticket, or just try to fold a fitted sheet?"