39670

Joke of the Day

"The closest I've come to working out in the last month has been a double sneeze. And I hurt my neck."

"Time was invented by the clock industry."

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A Seatbelt!"

"What do you get when you cross a gangster and a serial killer? Murdered. (If you don't get it: ""cross"" can mean ""betray"")"

"[OC] So I went downstairs to check the time on a clock... But it was saying 4:04: Time Not Found!"

"Why did the dog run in circles? He was a watchdog and needed winding."

"BOOK FACT: If you took every book in our store and laid them end to end you would be thrown out by security and banned from returning."

"You don't serve tuna do you? ""No sir, we don't serve fish here"" *A family of tuna in fake mustaches whistles innocently at another table*"

"A love letter from a biscuit maker to a girl: Dear marie, today is good day, you are anmol for me, But u have crack jacked my heart, because i have a little heart, And now i m in 50/50 position."

"If I had Unlimited resources.. I would adopt midget babies from different parts of the world, and raise them in a secluded plot of land somewhere and raise them to believe I am God. :)"