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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: What's your greatest strength? Potential employee: Shape shifting. Interviewer: Really? Interviewer: Yes. Interviewer: Shit."

"Do you want to hear an Ebola joke? Just refresh the page,it's probably posted again."

"Daughter asked me, ""Dad, who is your favorite Queen?"" I said, ""Friddie Mercury"" And another one bites the dust."

"The next iPhone won't be a failure In fact, it'll be a huge 6S."

"Neat how we spend so much time and money on the war against pot but there are people driving around with eyelashes and antlers on their cars"

"The punchline came early What does this joke have in common with me the first time I had sex?"

"When someone favorites instead of retweeting me I comfort myself by thinking ""they're just keeping me to themselves"""

"[NSFW] How do you tell if your Billy Idol fan girlfriend has a Three Stooges fetish? In the midnight hour she cried ""Moe! Moe! Moe!"""

"Throwing acid is wrong. In some people's eyes."

"One time I asked, ""What would Jesus do?"". That's the same day I almost drowned."