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Joke of the Day

"When I'm in the bathroom a long time, I come out sniffing & wiping my nose so people think I was doing coke and not making a doody"

"People find one band-aid and suddenly no one wants anymore of my homemade salsa."

"Maybe if wommen's uteroids weren't such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn't have to police them with #light & #K9 units."

"Want to here a word I just made up? Plagiarism."

"Dude, the water from the sink is sooo hot... I would tap that."

"Why do Jewish men watch porno's backwards? That way they can see the hooker give the money back."

"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood."

"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo, and Roberto, you take lookout."

"Old but Gold. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese."

"When a wife is laughing at her husband's jokes, it means they have guests at home."