80043

Joke of the Day

"Old but Gold. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese."

"Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says ""I've lost my electron."" The other says ""Are you sure?"" The first replies ""Yes, I'm positive."""

"Mufasa didn't die, he just went out for a pack of smokes and a newspaper. - The Lyin' King"

"- 911, what's your emergency? - My nephew just swallowed a lighter! - What's your address? - Never mind, I found some matches."

"Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own? It was two-tired. *Slaps knee* *Prosthetic leg falls off*"

"Managed to scare off my prison pen pal. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover what's wrong with me."

"Did you here about the women who died after masturbating with a carrot? That was a dildon't"

"They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone."

"Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ? She was trying to get ahead !"

"Yes, money cannot buy you happiness but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike."