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Joke of the Day

"Patron 1: I eat at a different restaurant every day. Patron 2: I don't tip either."

"the butter churner asked the milk ""whats wrong..."" the milk responded ""im just a bit stirred up but ill be butter in a while"""

"I love the Olympics, but missing Dateline due to the Olympics sucks. One of these athletes better end up being a serial killer or something."

"First, that jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and then his stupid car got paint on my key!"

"I might not be the ""best"" father in the world, but I'm also bad with money & know how to beat a polygraph."

"I swallowed a Watch the other day... Now I'm just trying to pass the time."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where to put the cucumber."

"There are 3 type of peole in this world... Those who know how to count and those who do not know."

"Netflix should double as a dating site and be like ""here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."""

"What did the Asian guy say when he was caught sleeping with another man's wife? Me love you wrong time."