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Joke of the Day

"First, that jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and then his stupid car got paint on my key!"

"Note to self: I am a note"

"Is your girlfriend wife material? I'm building a giant wife."

"What do men and linoleum have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years to come."

"My girlfriend treats me like God... She shouts my name while fucking other guys"

"What does expensive pasta cost? A pretty penne"

"You can lead a horse to water but it's pretty crowded there because of all the men you taught to fish in that other proverb."

"Why was the sick eagle in prison? Because she was illegal."

"Our website should have more colour more games more sound! Look what more do you want? Blood?"

"I told this cute girl some cheesy puns yesterday... She said they were hit or swiss. I guess I gouda done cheddar."