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Joke of the Day

"Nervous about our 1st ultrasound exam. What if my baby doesn't make ultra sounds? What if it's just farting noises? Is it graded on a curve?"

"Back when I was a kid there was no internet so people would sometimes have to walk for miles just to call me a cunt."

"The good news is, it turns out there is literally nothing we can say here that will ruin our chances at a political career."

"What instrument do piggys play in a band? Pigcussion!"

"Friday night. Sitting in a bar. As the designated driver. NO, I'M NOT BITTER. I'M PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE OUT OF A SENSE OF WONDER."

"What's a chemist's favourite porn fetish? Propanal"

"What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale? ""It was an absolute steal!"""

"You never pay the bill Unless it is a tribute to Bill Cosby, you rapist."

"Girl: ""My first time having sex was a lot like the 100 metre dash..."" Boy: ""What, over in ten seconds?"" Girl: ""No, eight black men and a gun."""

"I hear they might change reddit's name to something more appropriate... Blueit, perhaps?"