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Joke of the Day

"When I heard they had found the cure for dyslexia.. It was like music to my arse"

"Passer-by: hey buddy, do you have change for the phonebox? Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox? P: I didnt- CK: I'm not Superman"

"Asked my girlfriend Shanon to tell me which fast food restaurant best describes my dick. She said Chick-fil-A, which was pretty clever, but the correct answer was Wendy's."

"Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in? The plumber said ""Would you like a plug for it?"" The idiot replied ""Oh I didn't know it was electric."""

"I like my women like I like my coffee.... ground up and in the freezer."

"The countdown to my sister's wedding has begun, a constant reminder that I'm just a unibrow & a showtune away from being Susan Boyle."

"The earth revolves around the sun. So, I guess if you want me to revolve around you, you're gonna have to set yourself on fire."

"I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says ""haha good one"" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap."

"I play the keyboard in a band called The Internet!"

"Have you heard the joke about Murphy's Law? It goes like... no wait... ah, damn it."