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Joke of the Day

"Want to know how to stop the ""Not My President"" Riots? Play the National Anthem and they'll all kneel."

"A dyslexic robber walks into a bank... He says, ""air in the hands mother-stickers, this is a fuck-up!"""

"Yo momma so stupid She went into a round room and tried to take a shit in the corner."

"How does Bob Marley like his doughnut? w' jammin it"

"So my friend asked if I wanted to hear a corny joke... So I said, ""I'm all ears!"""

"I only do cocaine with the flexible straws. So I can reach my dashboard while i'm driving."

"A man goes to a doctor for a check up. The doctor asks him if he has any sexually transmitted diseases. To which the man replied, ""Yes. I have two children."""

"A chemist and his friend walk into a bar... The chemist asks the bartender for some H2O. His friend is trying to be cool and says ""Hey, I'll have an H20 too"". Then the friend dies."

"IAN: I broke my leg once ME: I've never broken a bone, touch wood [touches wood] THE UNIVERSE: THIS MAN WILL NEVER BREAK A BONE"

"I think about dance the same way I think about underwear. I like lots of ballroom"