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Joke of the Day

"Want to know how to stop the ""Not My President"" Riots? Play the National Anthem and they'll all kneel."

"I've been feeling so shitty this valentines day.. This cold I have is terrible!"

"With American Airlines stock at 20 cents, I can't decide between paying for two checked bags or buying half the company."

"Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying ""The court room sketch artist is so hunky."""

"What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD? One is a cunning runt."

"Board Game 10: *reading card* Mama! Name 3 rappers! GO! Me: Saran, aluminum foil, & cellophane! *beaming* 10: *laughing* OMG! Me: What?"

"Stop me if you've heard this already. -said no kid ever"

"Why are French overweight homosexuals always tired? Because they are fatty gay"

"What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major? My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder..."

"[hell] Me: Why am I here? Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair."