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Joke of the Day

"Every time someone uses the word ""intense"", Chuck Norris always replies ""you know what else is intense?"" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face."

"""Are you pulling my leg?"" ""No, why?"" ""It just dropped off."" ""Well, don't wake it up."""

"Ben Carson ZZZzzzzzz"

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a sheep. That's baaaaaaaaaad!"

"""when people say different color bell peppers taste different"" [doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically"

"What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice? Awarewolf"

"How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan."

"Where would you find an algebraic Sailors hat? Indice"

"[Girl's night out] Girl 1: Omg I haven't had sex in so long, I swear I have cobwebs down there Spider-Man's GF: *nervous laugh* HAHA SAME"

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know .There was a long silence and then she hung up."