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Joke of the Day

"Oh, you solved a murder? I guess that's cool. One time I didn't run over my ex when I saw him crossing the street. I prevented a murder."

"What do you call a man who you are not sure will become your friend? A training brah."

"Growing up my mom told me... I could be anybody I wanted to. Turns out this is called identity theft."

"what's the fastest animal in the world ? An Ethiopian Chicken"

"What did the executioner say to the prisoner? ""Hang on a minute."""

"Guy on phone telling gf he's bringing her a HUGE bouquet b/c 'she deserves the best'. Hilariously, he was peeing at a urinal the whole time."

"Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye is like Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye."

"I signed up today for a college American Fiction Literature class, apparently it was a really popular class. It was LIT AF"

"Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it."

"How do you call a Jamaican mountain? High ground"